Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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