big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
