it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
