Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
