She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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