For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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