i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
