You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
