i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
