i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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