you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize