I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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