and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
