grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
