i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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