The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
