Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Non-Jews are for practice
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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