I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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