Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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