Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
