did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
two words: eviction party
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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