ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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