i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
