Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
