bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drunk is not a location!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
