id be glad to
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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