you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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