So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
