i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
