so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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