do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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