so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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