just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
