I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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