My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
