youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
