is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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