it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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