I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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