shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize