absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hippo gnu deer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
