I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
