I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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