i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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