I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
