just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
