I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
