hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
