Your face is a jimmy john
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
