rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
