dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
