we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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