We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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