It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
