Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
