when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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